Experiences
Exchange meeting with foster care families from the Ushuaia program, Tierra del Fuego, Argentina.
Accompanied by the foster care team, Relaf had a meeting involving an exchange of experiences between three foster families in the city of Ushuaia:
Pety, Elida and Nelida are three foster care mothers, each one of them has a history full of love and commitment to the children under their care and have beautiful memories with others who have passed through their homes. The three are married with children. All members of the families support them and help to ensure that this experience is made possible.
Pety and Elida were the “experimented voices” of the meeting. Pety has been caring for an adolescent for years whilst also caring for her three children: one is three years old, another four years old and the other 6 months old; but she has already fostered other adolescents with which even today she still remains in contact with, as a referent.
Elida has been a foster care mother for more than 15 years. Together with her family she has decided to only care for children, and they do so with a lot of dedication and enthusiasm. They feel satisfied when they leave their home to go and live with their family of origin or with an adoptive family and they know how important having a fluid interaction with many families is for the baby. They are currently caring for a beautiful baby girl.
Finally, Nelida became a foster family without having planned it, as she says, life made it that way. She cares for a neighbor’s baby. The gentleman also has other children who Nelida cares for during the day. Although sudden, the experience has been a very positive one for Nelida. The tie she has established with the baby has resulted in her caring for him for as long as may need it, not giving importance to the amount of time this may require as she understands and appreciates his need for care.
Listening to these women moves us and reaffirms how important stable and adequate care in a family environment is for the development of a child, especially during the first few years of life. The three women are working individuals whose lives are structured around their personal achievements and the lives of others. We appreciate the fact that these three women shared their life experiences concerning such an extraordinary task for children and adolescents deprived of parental care in Ushuaia with us.
Translated by: Imogen Molke
Program of Substitute Families of the Secretary of Social Well-Being of Guatemala
The Secretary of Social Well-Being has a foster care program called “Substitute Families”. This program is very important because it provides family- based care for children whose families can’t take responsibility for their care. Substitute families act until the situation that resulted in the separation of the family is solved, or until the adoption of the child or adolescent by another family is determined. In this sense, substitute families have a fundamental role in the lives of these children and adolescents, since they provide them with love and care in moments of great difficulty.
Currently there are 30 children and adolescents in foster care in different regions of Guatemala. In fact, this represents a very small number compared to the almost 700 children between 0 and 18 years old that are institutionalized in the “Hogar Solidario”, which is an institution that represents a violation of the right of children to grow up in a family and a community, and which goes against the movement towards alternative care as defined by the UN Guidelines for the alternative care of children that are promoted in the region.
Despite this worrying situation, we trust that the Substitute Families Program will strengthen in the future. Currently it is going through revision for its improvement and growth, and this is the reason why Relaf worked in Guatemala. Three families of this program opened the doors of their homes to us and shared their experiences. We thank these families for their commitment to the task of taking care of these children.
The experience of Lidia and her family
Lidia and Ronald have been married for many years. They have a beautiful 10 year old child called Ronald Ulises. They work in a family business that is close to their home, and the child attends school classes and always gets good grades. When we met the family, he was enjoying his well deserved vacation.
They are a family with strong Christian faith. In fact, they learned about the Substitute Families Program when one of the social workers of the team presented about it at their church. From that day on they felt a calling to carry out this very significant task and after being evaluated they were given a beautiful 2-day-old girl that currently is 7 months old. Her name is Ana María. Her weight was barely a healthy weight when she was born, but currently she is healthy, smiling and full of life. The family feels very supported by their community, which has encouraged them in this decision and has provided them with important emotional support to carry out the task. The Program team provides them with support, too, not only though a small income so that they can cover the expenses of the girl, but also though meetings to guide them, listen to their doubts and supervise them.
The family is aware of the important role that they fulfill in the growth of the girl, and they take care of her with much love and dedication. The entire family has welcomed Ana María into their home. Ronald Ulises can be seen helping his mom with the toys and diapers of the girl, as well as tying the little ribbon of her dress when it is undone. These are clear signs of their love. The baby girl shows her gratitude with huge smiles.
Currently Lidia and her family anticipate the final decision of the judge with respect to the search for a stable and definitive solution for Ana María. They all know that the moment of parting from her will arrive soon, but they are certain that they will get over the painful feeling when they remember that they have done something good for the baby. Lidia states that “...if God decides she has to leave, she will leave for a better place...”. There is no doubt that this family will leave a lasting mark in her life.
The experience of Blanca Rosa and her family
Blanca Rosa lives with her husband in Chimaltenango. They have an eighteen year old boy and a 26 year old girl. These children do not live with their parents anymore because they left their parents’ home some time ago to set up their own homes.
Blanca says that she has had the good fortune of taking care of children that are not hers during her whole life. She did it many times when her female neighbors asked her to do it when they had to leave their homes to work, and she took care of these children during the day, until the time when their parents came back home from work. Some of them gave her money to pay her back, and others only gave her milk and diapers for the child. This was not important to Blanca, who always carried out the task with love and dedication.
She learned about the Substitute Families Program thanks to a neighbor, Doña Virginia, who has a small family shop in which she sells milk. One day when Blanca Rosa was approaching the shop, she saw two children accompanying her, so she asked her about them. Doña Virginia told Blanca that she and her daughter were taking care of these two children temporarily through the Substitute Families Program, and she told Blanca about her experience and passed on the enthusiasm for the important role of temporary care that these families carry out.
This is how Blanca Rosa and Edwin decided to contact the program and get evaluated. Some time after that, Blanca Rosa was called by the program team, who asked her if she would like to take care of a little two-year-old boy called Mynor Leonardo. At that time she was going through medical exams in Antigua, so the team fetched her and took her to the court in the Guatemala City, where the boy was. Two years and five months have passed since that day and a lot has happened since then. Mynor is very happy; he is a cheerful, loving and playful boy. Blanca Rosa is a very important person for him at this moment because the love and care he receives in her home makes him grow strong and healthy. His room is full of toys, but his favorite ones are a ball and a teddy bear that is taller than he is. Blanca Rosa knows that she will have to part with him.
Currently, Mynor and his substitute family expect to have an audience with the Judge in charge of Mynor’s case. They are working to reintegrate Mynor into his extended family. His grandmother keeps in touch with him, and she is the one who is willing to take care of him. Blanca Rosa knows that she will have to part from him soon, but she states from the bottom of her heart that she will always be there for him whenever he needs her.
The experience of Delia and her family.
Delia lives in Chimaltenango with her husband Efraín Fidel and three of their six children. Their other three children have already married and set up their own homes. One of their daughters even has a child, and Delia is happy to be a grandma and she takes care of her grandson when her daughter goes to work.
Delia works at home cooking tortillas and selling them to their neighbors, who know her business. The three children that live with her help her with the business by serving the clients and delivering the orders. Efraín Fidel works as a builder and cultivates a small piece of land that they own.
Delia learned about the Substitute Families Program from a neighbor named Virginia, who takes care of two foster children in addition to her daughter. She talked to Delia about her experience and introduced her to the program team. After considering that their children are already grown and that she has enough time available to take on the responsibility of caring for a child, Delia explained the proposal to Efraín Fidel and they both decided to apply to be evaluated to be given a child to foster. This is how Luis, a child that currently is six but that was only three years and seven months at that time, arrived in their lives.
He was placed in foster care after he was found alone at a hospital and his family could not be found. Luis’ family has still not been found, and Luis has been declared available for adoption so he expects to be adopted by a family. Until then, Delia and her family are willing to take care of him and do whatever it takes to ensure that he grows up happily. Delia and Efraín Fidel’s children supported the decision from the very beginning, and they quickly accepted him and grew fond of Luis.
According to Delia, when they met Luis he was not able to walk straight and he was hardly able to speak despite his age. He arrived in their home in November and he started attending kindergarten the following year in order to meet and interact with other children. Luis’ development during these years is remarkable. Currently, he attends school, and thanks to his efforts and his dedication he has been able to achieve many things. Delia and her family have a mission: to help Luis grow and become an excellent person. It is moving to hear from her that the most important gift Luis has given to them is freedom: the freedom to go out on the street to play with other children, and the freedom to build a better future.
Families in Paraguay
Written by Judith Aude, member of Relaf Latin American council.
The National Childhood and Adolescence Secretariat of Paraguay has a foster care program. This program is very important because among other things it has achieved to close the “Hogarcito” (“Little Home”), which was a center of internment for babies. Currently there are families that foster these babies and little children while their situations are solved. The Minister of Childhood Liz Torres is the one that leads the management of these important advances, which are possible to be achieved as long as there are committed families and professionals.
The families we have met are very different due to the differences in their environments, histories, ways of relating and desires, but they all have one thing in common: they are not indifferent to the defenselessness of some children in Paraguay, so they have opened their homes to take care of them, while they respect their identities and give a family response.
We share two beautiful stories and some pictures of them.
The family of Doña Julia is very welcoming and hospitable. They live in a big house in Villa Ayes in the Paraguayan Chaco. They take care of the necessities of the littlest ones of their communities with humbly and generously. Many children have lived in their house due to “private agreements” made with their mothers, who had to emigrate to work. These children were looked after as part of this large family.
Currently they take care of three children (a baby girl and two boys) that were directed from institutions for the protection of the rights of the child: the CODENI (the regional ministry for the Rights of the Child) and the Foster care program of the Center of Adoptions of the Childhood Secretariat, which was mentioned above.
Doña Julia has taught to their adult children that there must be always children in their homes, because they are a symbol of health and joy, and that they should do the necessary to achieve that the children are healthy, educated and loved when their parents come back to take them to live with them.
María Inés and her husband Miguel Guedes live in the city of San Lorenzo, in the Central department of Paraguay.
She had knowledge of nursery, so she started to work in the “Hogarcito” taking care of the babies. A short time after that, the home was closed and Ines was very committed to her task of taking care of babies. She and her family were evaluated to become a specialized foster care family, and currently they are part of the 4 foster families made up of the former carers of the former home of the Center of Adoptions. In the Center she met José Luis, a 1 year and two month old baby, who was diagnosed with the Prader Willis syndrome and has been about to die many times due to its serious symptoms. The whole family is prepared to give the especial care that this baby needs. María Inés participates in a Network of “Parents with children that suffer from the Prader Willis syndrome”, which was created in Uruguay. This virtual network gives support to the families by making clear and anticipating the symptoms that will appear and creating a sphere in which they can help each other.
In their family they also foster Tobias, a charismatic 3 year old boy, which is spoiled by the whole family.
María Ines and Miguel have been able to provide a loving home to the two children, despite the extreme fragility of José Luis. This is evident when you see the way in which the children and the parents look at each other, their looks full of love and desires of recovery and a better life.
The foster care team has a great professional capacity and commitment to accompany and support the family in this delicate and extreme situation. The team also tries to achieve a judicial decision for the two children that will enable their passage to adoptive families. Meanwhile, the team and the family do the best they can to take care of these children.
The challenge to comply with the right to family- based care of Guatemalan children is big. The existence of enormous social and political difficulties is an obstacle for the development of childhood: the president has just declared “state of calamity” due to the high level of children’s malnutrition, among other issues. Besides, there are the aspects mentioned in the Editorial of this bulletin. In this context, a group of families gathered together by the government program “Substitute Families” of the Secretary of Social Well-Being, which is coordinated by Víctor Reyes, managed to foster some of the children deprived of parental care. We want to introduce you to the Estupiñán- López Family, its foster mother is Claudia, its foster father Venicio, and their child is Diego. They kindly foster Sandra Marina while her definitive situation is being legally evaluated: incorporation into her family of origin or integration in an adoptive family. This family opened its doors and was pleased to share its experience in this bulletin.
We had the opportunity to meet the family with the social worker Marta Pixtún (in the picture, holding the girl) and UNICEF professional Dora Alicia Muñoz, which supports technical cooperation of the program. Due to the National Holiday, the whole family was together at home. The girl is very outgoing and looks healthy after having started her history at a disadvantage: she was given to the family to be taken care of by the court, since she was “alone” in the hospital and her health condition was critical. Claudia is effective in her temporary role; she feels important in the life of this little girl and is conscious that she has given her the care that will enable her to have a better future. Venicio, who is a fireman, was the one who initially responded to the call for families from the government program. Diego is like her older brother: he takes care of her and offers her new games, standing by Sandrita while she discovers the world around her. All of them think of the girl’s arrival as a blessing, and they anticipate how difficult it will be to say goodbye. However, their conviction of being a “substitute family” allows them to transmit firmly what they consider to be their mission: giving the opportunity of having a family as well as being the “bridge” so that this girl can grow healthy, strong, sensitive, and communicative. Very good training and professional support from the team is recognized in the family.
We have been told more foster families are needed, applying the criteria of the temporary nature of the role, offering the opportunity to live in a family while institutions decide definitive solutions for all children deprived of parental care. Showing their expressive faces is better than describing the bonds established between this foster family and the girl, and between her and the professional responsible for the monitoring.
“Casa Viva” is a non governmental organization, directed by Felipe Aspegren, who got in touch with Relaf to tell us about his experience in San José.
Equipo de Casa Viva: Doña Ely, Susana, Sonia, Jodi, Mayra, Felipe y Mateo
“Hello Friends at Relaf,
Greetings from Costa Rica.
I’m writing to share with you some information on our foster care experience here in Costa Rica. Together with PANI Costa Rica (Patronato Nacional de la Infancia), we have been able to place 47 children in families since October 2005, some for the short term and others for the long term. In the course of this year we have fostered 23 children. Currently we have 30 families that are active or that are in the process of training to be foster families. We have a multidisciplinary team of professionals that support families and children. We recruit families through local Christian churches, and the church has the role of accompanying the family and the child. We are focused on the East side of San José, and this year we were able to take the program/model to the town of Grecia with good results. We have managed to reunite 70% of the children leaving the foster care program with their families of origin. 15% of the children were adopted (by Casa Viva family or another family). We are very motivated by the future possibilities of considering foster care as a great part of the national solution for children that do not have the right families. We have considered Relaf as one of our friends and supporters for years, so we want to share with you these figures, which are a cause for celebration.
God bless you,
Felipe Aspegren”
Olga, Josué y Elbert
The program Lazos de Familia was created for children between 8 and 14 that live in institutions with the purpose of restoring the right of children to live in a family environment. The objective of the program is to accompany these children to create their life plans, to get to know themselves, to integrate with others, to understand the world around them, and to offer them affection and orientation. This program is developed in the framework of the cooperation agreement between ICBF- Instituto de Bienestar Familiar (Institute of Family Wellbeing of the Government) and Kidsave.
Friend, mentor, foster and promoter families are searched for. Mentors visit the children and establish a bond with them, in which they become a model and a permanent referent. This helps children that live without the care of their parents to develop skills and abilities, which enables them to build a better life despite the absence of their families.
The aim of the foster family is to establish and provide the child with the experience of everyday life in a family by inculcating values in them and teaching them manners and ways of behaving in the life with others. They help these children to fulfill the dream of all the children that live in institutions, to know what is like to live and enjoy with a family.
Promoter and volunteer families support the search for new families, the organization of events, the search for opportunities, as well as accompanying the children in their visits to parks, museums, celebrations, and through their work they achieve to expand the network of friend families.
In order to achieve successful and long-lasting relationships, Kidsave provides those who are interested in being a part of this big family with training and advice. We hope that each day more families just like Adriana’s join this project and improve the life of a child.
Testimony:
"“Adriana is a young business woman that decided to join Kidsave to support Paola, a girl of 14 years old. She has attended several workshops to prepare to be a good mentor. She feels happy to contribute to Paola’s upbringing and she understands she has become a referent and a model for this young girl that looks for the right track in her growth to create her life plan.”
Adriana says: “Today my life has different meaning. My husband Carlos, my son Felipe and I have the gift of giving individual knowledge that is necessary to create a life plan, and these are presents that will last forever”
Contact of the program:
comunicacioneskidsave@kidsave.org.co